


Keep That Arm Around My Waist Cap.

by Agentrogers17



Category: Captain America - All Media Types, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Best Friends, Cuddling & Snuggling, F/M, Friendship, Platonic Relationships, Post-Serum Steve Rogers, Protective Steve Rogers, Rape Recovery, Reader-Insert, Tony Is Not Helping
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-09
Updated: 2016-04-29
Packaged: 2018-05-25 19:00:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 19
Words: 17,269
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6206785
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Agentrogers17/pseuds/Agentrogers17
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>So imagine you and our blonde human dorito are besties. But is it possible to be so close to a human perfection and not fall in love. You are lucky he is in love with you too. But he is so scared to lose your friendship that you will have to wait for kisses ...</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. You Are My Human Pillow.

"Have you seen yourself?" I asked. I was laying on Steve in his room. He was reading a book while I was on Twitter. His hand on my back protecting me from falling and my head on his firm chest. Perks of being best friends with a super soldier.

"What do you mean have I seen myself?"

"Dude! You are all over social media. But... Wow! You won't like it."

"Are you going to talk to me (y/n)? Or are you okay with talking to yourself?"

"Funny. Cap. So funny. Look!" I showed him the post I was looking at. 

"What the hell!" He said taking my phone. Yepp. He had seen it.

"Why am I naked!"

"You are not. You just don't have a shirt on."

"I am naked."

"Half naked."

"Okay half naked. But. I mean why are my half naked photos there?"

"Don't look at me like that. I have nothing to do with it. But... You know Tony likes to make you blush. And you are pretty in pink right now so... Maybe it was him?"

"We need to take this photos out of there!"

"Not possible sugar. Probably millions of teenage girls had downloaded them. And you are the walpaper of most of the females on this planet half naked." I said.

"You know what (y/n)..."

"Gosh! Captain language!" I said putting my hand to my chest.

"So what will I do now?"

"Nothing. You are a celebrity. And come on I have seen some photos of celebs where they have nothing at all and nothing happened. They are still famous and people still love them. Also yours are not that erotic. It is just you don't have a shirt. And we can see that you are pretty fit. Nothing that people didn't know."

"I have to talk with Tony."

"Do you need me? I want to stay here."

"You are spending more time in my room than I do."

"I like your room. It is clean, it is nice and it makes me feel at home."

"Are you still friends with me because of this room?"

"Nooo... If it was the room I would have killed you so that it would belong only to me."

"Yeah. Kill me for a room. Sure. No problem at all." He said walking out of the door.

I got our of the bed and took of my jeans and shirt. I found one of Steve's t shirts and dressed into them. After drinking some water I layed to his side and got under blankets.

It smelled like him and his bed was very comfy. So it didn't took long for me to fall asleep.

***

"Mind in we will cuddle?" I heard his soft voice.

"You know I won't."

"Is that my t shirt?"

"My room is so far away..."

"It is at the end of the hall."

"So far..."

"God. Aren't you a bit too lazy to be an Avenger."

"I am saving all the energy I can for field. So I have to work at minimum energy."

"You are so good at making excuses."

"Oh shut up. What did Tony said about your Playboy photos?"

"He said that women will kill him if he will erase those photos."

"Yeah he is right."

"So you would kill for those photos. You know you are a woman too."

"Nope. Sugar. I am living with Thor, Hawkeye, Falcon. You know they have hot bods too."

"What about me?" He asked. I liked the worry in his voice.

"You... Well Rogers you are my favourite you know. Or why would I be in you arms right now?"

"Because you like to use me as your personal heater?"

"Yeah. That and you are my human pillow."

"Sure as a person I am nothing."

"You are everything to me Steve. And you know that." I said moving closer to him. He let me bury my face to his neck. I could smell his after shave lotion and his own scent. I loved being here. In his arms. 

"You are my everything too (y/n)." He answered. I just smiled. I loved being this honest with him. But of course he had no idea that that I loved him more that just a friend. We had a strange friendship. Most of the agents thought that we were a couple but nope. We were bffs.

Friends who slept at the same bed. Who cuddled every time they could. At first when I met Steve I never thought we could get that close both mentally and physically but here we were in each others arms.

But I wasn't the only one who was suprised. Steve was an old fashioned man. And I am pretty sure at his era no guy could get this close to a gal amd call it friendship. I had no problems. And I didn't gave a fuck about what anyone else thought. But him being this comfortable with me shocked me at first. And we can not forget about the first time Tony found us cuddling. He didn't believe we were just close friedns for a month.

"What are you thinking about (y/n)?" He whispered. 

"Us."

"Us?"

"Yeah. You know me and you. Just I never thought we will be good friends."

"Why not?" Because I love you so much and I had no idea that you would ever talk to me.

"We are so different. I mean look at you! You can do anything you want. And look at me. I am just. I am a loser and we both know that."

"No you are not."

"Yes I am. And we won't have that talk again."

"Well than don't talk shit about my best girl." He said. I couldn't see his face but I knew he had a beautiful smile on his lips.

"Bad word Rogers. Now we have to find a new Cap. A pure innocent one."

"Ha ha."

"You know that I love you." I want to fucking marry you. Have beautiful babies with you. Get old together. Then die at the same fucking day.

"I love you too (y/n). Lets sleep some huh?"

"Yeah." I yawned. "Sleep sounds good." And I felt asleep in his arms. I knew that all night I would dream about him him and only him.


	2. Undercover Mission? As a Couple? What The Hell!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dear Steve and Reader have a mission. Undercover one. As a couple. And it can be both good and bad playing a couple with your crush.

"(Y/n), are you ready?" Asked Steve. I could hear he was getting closer. 

"Yeah. Yeah. I will be ready in a minute."

"It is what you said 10 minutes ago. Are you decent?"

"I am. Like you never had seen me not decent."

"Yeah I did. You know you were bleeding. And that was not a time to be decent. Also you had my fist sized hole in your stomach." He said entering my room.

"Exactly my point. You have seen my inner organs Cap. It is an impossible goal for most of the friendships."

"Back to my question are you ready?"

"I will be. If you won't interrupt me every 5 minutes." I said putting on my reddest lipstick.

"Oh I am sorry. You know I was trying to not be late to our mission."

"We can't be late to our mission. Our mission is to go at a date. We can't be late to a date with each other. Because you know we are with each other right now."

"The mission is not the din..."

"Dinner it is to stole the needed information after the dinner. So we will eat faster."

"You are impossible (y/n). Impossible."

"Yeah I think I am pretty amazing too."

"Impossible."

***

Dinner went well. It wasn't strange to eat with Steve. Talk with Steve. But it usually wasn't happening me in a sexy dress and killer make up. Or him looking like a Greek God. Well he always looked like a Greek God. But that dark blue suit and his white shirt. Which would give me wild dreams tonight, oh my lord. 

"Keep the attancion on yourself. I will be back as soon as possible." I said and kissing his cheek a bit closer to his lips than usual. 

"Be careful." He whispered.

I followed our target to bathrooms.

"Excuse me Sir. Could you help me?" I tried to sound as helpless as possible.

Middle aged guy with glasses turned to me and looked at me.

"Yes pretty? Is there a problem?"

"It is just... I don't feel well to crowded. I don't like crowds. Could you take me somewhere with less people?" I asked. Giving him a sexy smile.

"Sure darling. Lets go." He said grabbing my waist and pulling me to his body. A bit too close. But... I needed to act like a slut till I get the info.

He took me to some kind of office at the back side of the restaurant. He leaded me to the desk and helped me to seat at top of it. 

"So beautiful..." he murmured his hands traveling on my bare legs and he was pressing his hips to mine. I could feel his half hard member. But it made me feel disgusted than horny. I had to fisnish the mission as fast as I could before one of us would lose cloths.

"Sugar don't you think you should at least tell me your name before all this intimacy?" I asked.

"Come on we both know you don't need my name. My name is the last thing you need right now."

"Now now handsome. Aren't you a bit fast?" I asked putting my hands to his chest. His hands were on my ass and he was pressing to me too strong. He was a lot stronger than he looked.

"Baby... Slow down." I said.

"Come on slut! You will take my cock in that pussy of yours. Like it or not." He said and ripped the top my dress.

"No! Stop!" I said I was screaming in terror now. He was going to rape me god damn it. He pulled my bra to side and started to suck my breast. I was trying to kick him. Get him off me somehow.

"Let me go!" I screamed. 

"You whore!" He said and slapped me so hard my head hit the desk. I felt dizzy and I had no strenght to stop him. He was trying to take my panties of...

But then I felt something or someone pull him from me. And I heard a fight. And then big warm hands were around my face.

"(Y/n). (Y/n)! Come on doll. Loke at me." 

Steve. It was Steve. 

"Oh doll." He whispered and took of his jacked. Helped me wear it and lift me in his arms bridal style. I could feel the tears dropping from my eyes.

"He won't get you doll. No one ever will get you I promise. You are safe." He was murmuring. He was taking me somewhere. But I didn't really care.

Some time later I felt that he put me to a bed. And he took his jacket of me. I felt his scent and warmth leaving me. I knew I was half naked. Damn I had no panties and my boobs were free my dress was in half. But I didn't really care instead I cried. He took everything of me. I could see his face he was red. And his eyes were at wall. He was trying to not look at my naked form and dress me at the same time. After 10 minutes I was dressed in a cotton pajama dress and my termal socks. He took me in his arms and kissed my forehead. He had cleared my make up after dressing me. I felt fresher. But still...

I couldn't stop my sobs. He just pressed me to himself. 

"(Y/n)... I need to take you to Tony and Bruce. He hit your head. And we need to make sure everything is OK." I cried more while he carried me to lab. 

"What the hell?" I heard Tony. 

"I will explain later. Just... I need you to check her fully." 

"What happened Steve?" Asked Bruce.

"She hit her head."

"She is sobbing because she hit her head?" It was Nat. 

"That bastard tried to rape her." I could hear the anger in Steve's voice. A death silence fell over lab. I was crying silently. I felt someone sitting me up. It couldn't be Steve. It was someone smaller, softer. 

"Come on (y/n). Lift your head up so Bruce can check you." Natasha.

Her hand was around my waist and while Bruce wad checking my head she held me.

"Your head is allright (y/n). But your cheek will be bruised for some." Said Bruce. Steve... Steve wasn't hear. I was trying to find him with my eyes. Nat understood.

"He is with Tony. They will find the guy and as I can see from the anger level of Cap. He won't have a dick after Cap will find him."

"Natasha take (y/n) to her room and stay with her untill Steve will be back."

"Sure. Lets go sugar." She said helping me walk. 

I remeber Nat taking me to bed. I remember telling her everything that happen. And I remember falling asleep while she played with my hair. 

"I took care of him." I heard Steve whisper. He layed next to me and pulled me in his arms. It made me feel safe. Having him and his scent around me. Like it was my home. Where I meant to be.

"No one can touch my best girl and walk off it. I won't let." He said. His hands drawing calming circles at my back. I just got closer to his warmth.

"Are you okay doll? Do you need me to do something? Anything?"

"Just stay."

"You know I will never leave you." He said kissing the top of my head.

 


	3. And I Will Try To Fix You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Reader needs physical and mental healing. And Steve will never leave her alone.

"Good morning darling." Steve murmured. I was sleeping on him. His arm protectively around my torso and his chin on my head.

"Good morning Cap." I answered. He started to draw little circles with his finger tips.

"How are you feeling today?" I knew what he was asking. Are you still super depressed and scared about the near rape mission? I knew he was worried. I knew he wanted me to talk. I knew he hated the silence I was in. But... I wasn't that strong right now. I was so weak and honestly he was the only thing holding me from falling apart.

"I am okay." I said. If it was before the mission he would look at me and say that I am a liar I need to talk. But right now. I was so vulnarable. He didn't even dare. He slowly kissed my forehead. He was touching me as soft as it was possible and I thought that after everything that happened I would be afraid him to be this close but I had no problem with his physical closenes. It made me feel safer.

"Want me to prepare some breakfast?"

"No just coffee. We have some cookies from yesterday." 

"Cookies for breakfast nope miss. You won't eat cookies for breakfast. Maybe we can go to the cafe at the corner."

"I don't want to go outside."

"Maybe you should take a shower and I will run there and bring some breakfast?"

"Sure?"

"Yeah. I will be back before you will get out of that shower."

"You mean I need to take a loooong long shower?" I asked with a little smile on my lips. His baby blue eyes shined for a moment and he gave me one of the biggest smiles I have ever seen.

"(Y/n)..."

"Yes?"

"It is nice to see you smile again. I missed that smile." He said. I just hugged him and then got up to take a shower.

I heard him leaving and looked at the mirror. There was a big ugly bruise on my cheek. It's been nearly a week but it wasn't healing. I tried to cover it with make uo but Steve said that I still was the most prettiest girl he had ever seen and one bruise couldn't take that away. Also my skin needed to breath and I didn't need that make up. After few arguments he won. And I let it be. I washed myself slowly. Me head still hurt sometimes but most of the wounds were in my sould not my body.

I took my time and let myself relax. Then after drying my hair with towel I got dressed into light pink shorts and one of Steve's tshirt. He was staying at my floor with me but most of his things were here.

"I am back." I heard him. And the delicious smell of coffee covered my room.

"Coffee! Yay!" I said walking to him.

"I came with coffee you know. You could say Steve yay or at leasr welcome?"

"I saw you 15 minutes ago I didn't miss you but I didn't see coffee since yesterday I missed it." Well I missed you too Steve but you know you are my bff and I can't just say I missed the way I was on top of you and come on lets go to bed and cuddle some more.

"Tell me if you could marry any guy in the world or all the coffee in the world which one would you choose?"

"Coffee." I said looking in his eyes.

"You are addicted." To you Captain. I am addicted to you. But you can't even see it.

After breakfast Steve went to training and I went to see my mental doctor. Alexa. She was helping me with this rape shit and honestly it was going nowhere.

"Hello (y/n) how are you feeling?"

"Thank you I am good. How are you?" 

"Oh thank you darling. I am good. How is everything going. You know all this recovery."

"It is not going."

"What do you mean?"

"I don't feel any difference. I am still weak and..."

"You are better than most of the rape recovery pacients. You have no problem with touching people, talking to men."

"But I feel it deep in my blood. That fear that discomfort it is killing me."

"That fear will stay there. But one day you will get stronger and it won't be able to scare you as much as it does right now."

"But what will I do until then?"

"You will fight. Slowly you will get there. But you have to be calm about it."

"I can't..."

"Is there anyone I can talk about you? I mean someone who knows you good enough and someone who you spend a lot of time."

"Yes. Steve. Steve is with me nearly all day."

"Wasn't Steve the one who saved you?"

"Yes. We were at that mission together."

"He is still with you every day? Why? Is he feeling guilty? Or... Is he your boyfriend?"

"No. He is not my boyfriend. He is my best friend. We are like this for a very long time. He is the best. And I don't think he feels guilty. He saved me and he helps me a lot."

"How is that?"

"He knows, feels I am not ready and doesn't ask questions. He is there. He is my rock."

"(Y/n), do you love Steve?"

"Yes of course. He is everything to me. My closest friend."

"I didn't mean like that. Are you in love with Steve?" 

"No." I lied.

***

"Alexa wants to talk to you?"

"Your doctor?"

"Yes. She needs information about my being."

"Okay. Are you going to be there?" 

"No Steve. You will gossip about me." She said giving me a small smile. I kissed her cheek and went to meet Alexa.

A woman in her 40es met me. 

"When (y/n) said Steve. I wasn't expecting the Rogers one. Welcome Captain."

"Hello madam."

"I need to ask you a few questions about the rape and last week."

"There was no rape. I git there before he could touch her leaving that damage."

"I see. But (y/n) is pretty shaken."

"She has every right to be shaken. No men should touch any women like that. It is not a way to treat a lady. We are not animals."

"You are pretty angry about what happened."

"Of course I am. That bastard tried to have my (y/n). And you have no idea how broken she wad when I found her. Her dress was torn. Her lingerine was taken. She was violated. And she did nothing to deserve it. If our cover was blown and they would have beated her I could understand. I would kill them. (Y/n) doesn't deserve any kind of violance. No women do but what he tried to do was personal. It nearly happened because she is a woman and she is beautiful. Tell me which part of this is fair and I should be calm about it?"

"No part. You called (y/n) yours. What does that mean? I know that you two are not dating and have no past." I felt the blush covering my whole body. Damn. That woman listened to well.

"She... She is my friend. Very dear friend."

"And you think that they are beautiful about all your friends?"

"I am no blind ma'am. (Y/n) is a very beautiful girl. Art piece beautiful and I think every person with eyes can say that."

"How was your relationship with her after that mission?"

"Nothing unusual. She just talks less and it troubles me. She doesn't need to bottle up everything inside. But I think she is still too vulnarable to talk about it. It is okay. I can wait. I just don't want her to get hurt more."

"Does she has any problem with you being close?"

"No. No she hasn't."

"Can you give me details about her reactions?"

"She has nightmares and we sleep together. We mostly did in the past too. Don't think anything sexual. It is just cuddling together. She mostly sleeps on me she just likes to have someone around. And I lost everyone I had in the past. So knowing she sleeps next to me breathing makes me feel better too. I know what you think. Two adults male and female sleeping together. There must be a relationship but there is not. I swear."

"Bjt you want it to be?"

"I want (y/n) to be happy and safe. There is nothing I want more."


	4. Time To Talk, Time To Cry

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Reader is not ready but she knows she has to talk with Steve. Also she knows Steve is more important than her emotions. But pushimg herself will make no good.

"I am ready. Attack." I said. And Nat started to throw punches and kicks at me. I stopped all of them. But then she grabbed me from my waist and threw me. I was on the floor.

"Your body is here. But your mind is not." She said sitting next to me. "What is the problem?"

"Steve."

"Steve is a problem? Is this possible?"

"Actually it is not that he is the problem. Problem is... We never talked about that. And I know we need to talk. He wants to talk and... I don't know what to do?"

"Are you ready to talk?"

"I don't think I will be ready any time soon. But also I know if I want him to not leave I have to talk."

"First of all you have to do nothing. And second where the hell will Steve go? He would never leave you. You know it. I am pretty sure both of you can't breath of you will stay away from each other for too long."

"Nat. He doesn't need me. I need him."

"He needs you more than you meed him. Come on (y/n). That guy is nearly 100 years old and you are almost only person he talks to. No I don't mean normal communication I mean he tells you everything he thinks or feels. You are his everything. I know you two say this about each other. And..."

"Look at me Natasha. He saw me when some random guy nearly fucked me. And all I could do was cry."

"And he killed the guy because he loves you that much. He never left your side since then because he loves you that much."

"Where is he now?"

"I don't know."

"Me neither. I haven't seen him for two days. Two fucking days. And I have no idea where is he. I know he is not at a mission. I know he has to be somewhere around. But he is not coming to me. I called him thousand times, left notes but he is not even answering."

"(Y/n)..."

"He is done with me Nat. Look at me. I am the most weak thing alive."

"When did you saw him last?"

"Alexa wanted to talk to him. You know my soul doctor. And I haven't talked to him since. Maybe she told him something I did not and now he thinks that I wasn't worth it and I have no idea what to do."

"So... What is your plan?"

"I have non. But I think I need to rest some. See you later." I said and got out of the gym. I could feel Nat's green eyes on my back but I couldn't care right now. I missed Steve. I missed him so bad that I had no idea what the fuck to do. I just wanted him back here. With me...

***

_'You just said she was yours...'_

(y/n)

I sighed. What was happening to me? (Y/n) was one of the most important people for me. Hell. She was the most important person to me. Then why the fuck I couldn't go and see her. Right I was scared that love thing. I loved (y/n). This was nothing new. I told her this everyday but...

I was in love with (y/n). Okay this was something new. But why the hell I felt no difference then? I cared about her? Yes. Could I die for her? Don't even need to think about. But what was this love thing. 

Honestly I never saw (y/n) as just a friend. Natasha was just a friens. Hill was just a friend. Could I live without Natasha or Hill? Sure. Could I live without (y/n)? Even the thought of it hurt like hell.

"Captain Rogers you have a voice mail."

"From?"

"Miss. (Y/n)."

"Play it."

_"Hey, Steve. I know you probably don't want to see me. This is the only explamation I can find for your leaving. And probably you don't want to hear me too. But we need to talk. We needed this simce the last mission but... I wasn't ready. I still am not but you need to know. And it means I need to tell. Thank you for being with me since that rape thing and thank you for supporting me no matter what. Probably you don't care... But I warned yoi before that I was a loser. That nothing good could came from me. I... I am a shit Steve. But probably you know all this. The reason I am mailing you is thay mission. I will tell you that mission. It looked easy then. You know take the guy somewhere with no people seduce him and take the info but... Guy was stronger or maybe I was too weak. He... He grabbed me Steve. I tried to fight him. I tried so hard but it was like I was nothing. He would not stop. I screamed but he was undressing me. And I wasn't able to stop him. He hurt me. And if you wouldn't come and stop it. If he would fuck me there.... I don't know if I could live with that. Knowing someone touched me like I was no person. Someone took his lust out of me. Fucked me just for his own release. And I layed there just like a puppet. I don't know if I could stay alive after that. You saved my life Steve. Thank you. Really. It wasn't just one bastard you saved me from. It was death. It was all the things that would kill me. I haven't seen you for nearly 3 days and... I miss you. I miss you so much. And I do understand you. You are probably tired of my self pity. Of how useless I am. But thank you it was the best days of my life with you and our friendship. Thank you for everything and I hope everything will be fine fter this. Thank you..."_

I felt a lain in my heart. (Y/n) was crying why the fuck she was crying? It was the worst and most painful thing to listen her voice mail. Probably recorded while crying.

Something happened because of me. Something bad I could feel it and (y/n) thought I didn't need her anymore. How could I mot need her. She was every damn thing to me. I left everything I was doing and went to find her.

I ran to her floor and started to look at every room. Everywhere she could be she wasn't here.

"JARVIS. Where is (y/n)?"

"She left two hours ago after recording the voice mail."

"She recorded the voice mail 2 hours ago but you gave that to me just now?"

"She asked me to wait for 2 hours and then give you that."

"Damn (y/n) what are you doing?"

***1.5 hours ago***

It was a beautiful view. Nice river. I loved this river. Sometimes Steve and I runned here. Sometimes we just sat and watched people. But it was back then. Now Steve didn't even want to see me. I looked at the water under myself. Clear blue water. Probably cold. But it didn't matter. I didn't care. I just wamted everything to be over.

I was over. My life... I was a loser. I nearly got raped and lost my control. Lost my power. I lost my best friend. There was nothing I could live for. Nothing to fight for. 

I closed my eyes. Air was fresh. At least my last breath would be fresh and clean. I could feel the tears running down my cheeks. I took a deep breath. I wanted to think about Steve.

I wanted him to be my last thoughts. My last hope. I wanted him to be the only thing leading me to my own death. I wanted him to take me in his arms and kiss my hair one last time.

But even he with his golden heart couldn't stand the weakness named me. Damn.... How I imagined my life. How my dreams were. But it was too late to be sorry so I just let myself fall. 

The last thing I felt was the coldness of the water.


	5. Has No One Told You She Is Not Breathing?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everything can go wrong so bad but sometimes it is the only way it can go.

"Body temperature is low. It is too low." 

"We still have a heart beat we can save her."

"Do we have an ID?"

"No. But we know who she is. She is (y/n) from Avengers."

"Avengers? So an Avenger tried to kill herself?"

"If she dies there will be so much paperwork."

"She won't die. We will save her."

"Has someone called them? Avengers?"

***

"You don't understand Tony. She is gone. And the mail she left... Something happened and I need to know what."

"Cap. (Y/n) is a big girl. She knows what she is doing and I really do think maybe she needed to be alone?"

"No. She wouldn't left like this. It was a farewell. She did something and I... I need to find her. It was because of me."

"What do you mean because of you?"

"I was avoiding her. Last two days. And she thinks it is because of her."

"Did you call her?"

"I did. Million times. No answers and... I have a feeling something happened. And it is no good."

"J, search for (y/n). Can you tell us where is she?"

"Her phone is in her room and she nas no electronic devices with her. No Mr. Stark. I can't find her."

"Look at all the cameras around the city. Find her."

It took 10 minutes to find her. And... I never felt that shaken my whole life. (Y/n), my beautiful (y/n) threw herself from a bridge. And I felt my heart die there. The minute she hit the water the minute she drowned. I... I couldn't say a word.

"JARVIS where is she now?" Asked Tony. I could hear the horror in his voice.

"At hospital. This is the addres." 

I felt Tony grab my arm and we were at hospital. I don't think my brain could understand the whole thing. I think it was trying to protect itself, me from the pain that I knew was there. I knew (y/n) could be dead. And when they would take us to her room and there might be no (y/n) just her body. And...

And if there was no (y/n) anymore... I really had no idea what to do. I knew she was upset. I knew she needed me but I was so scared an I let her down. I left her alone when she needed me the most and...

I so hated myself right know. I hated the things I did. I hated every minute I wasn't with her. My brain was playing the image if her collapsing into the water again and again.

"Cap... Cap!" Said Tony. I looked up and saw his red eyes. He was crying. Was I crying too? Was it important anymore if (y/n) was not alive?

"She is nor stable."

"Is she dead?"

"No. No but her breathing is stopping time to time."

"What will happen to her?"

"If they can't fix her breathing she won't make it."

"Can... Can I see her?" I said. My voice was so weak and I couldn't even believe it was mine.

"Yeah. But... It is no good."

"I can guess." I said and a nurse leaded me to her room. My hands were shaking. My whole body was shaking and I had no idea what to do.

"She is strong." Nurse said. "But she might not be that strong."

"How... How bad is she?"

"The fall into water broke her shoulder and arm, two ribs broken and her ankle is twisted. While she swimmed she hit her head several times. And the cold wad not helping."

And she opened the door. My poor little (y/n) was laying on a hospital bed. Her skin was pale. More than ever. Like dead pale. And her beautiful pink lips were dark blue. There were bandages all over her tiny body.

"Hey (y/n)." I said and kneeled next to her. My voice was shaky and I did no good. I held her little hand afraid that she will stop existing now and here.

"I am sorry (y/n)... I never meant you to get hurt. I never meant you to be here. I... I just... You have no idea how hard is this. I just... I don't know what I will do if you die you know? And death is so close right now it can take you from me any time. I am so sorry (y/n). I am sorry. Damn it. I can't lose you not here not now. I can't let you go like this. I meed you. I can't... It won't be OK if you will go. It won't be OK if you won't be next to me. I can't do this without you. I can't live without you and..." but my speech was interrupted by crazy beeping. Before I could understand anything a nurse pushed me out of her way.

"What is happening!" I said.

"What the fuck is happening?" No one answered me all I could hear was them shocking her tiny body. And I couldn't no I didn't want to understand what was happening.

"What is wrong with her?"

"She is dead Captain." Said someone. I still could hear the rush. I still could hear them shouting. But... (y/n) was not alive right now. My (y/n)...

"You need to get out." Said someone and I was pushed outside.

"Cap what happened?" Asked Tony. I saw Clint and Tasha with him.

"(Y/n) died." I said. I felt my sould leave me.

"No. No. No." Natasha was repeating to herself. Clint put a friendly arm around her shoulders but he was no good himself.

"What happened?"

"I was talking to her and then... All those machines started beeping and they pushed me out of the way and... They said she was dead."

"Oh my god." Whispered Clint.

"It is because of you. You killed her! She needed you so much and you just left. You killed her." Natasha was crying and screaming at me.

"Nat. Nat stop it!" Said Clint.

"No. No I won't. He killed her. She died because of her. No." She said. She was shaking with tears. But she was full of hate full of anger.

"Enough Natasha lets take a walk." Said Clint and dragged her out. I just stayed there. Tony was silent. Probably he was trying to deal with the info I just told him but... It is not easy to accept that someome you knew you loved is mot alive anymore. Accept that this someone killed herself she did it because she couldn't take it anymore and you were always around when she was dealing with it able to do nothing... Accepting this is impossible.

"Will you be okay?" Asked Tony.

"No."

"Cap..."

"She did this because of me Tony. There is no way I will be okay."

"Maybe..." 

"Family of (y/n)?"

"Yes."

"She is alive but. It won't be easy. Her breathing is not okay. She will wake up but she can't go home. Not anytime soon. Maybe someone can stay with her?"

"I..." I started to say.

"I will." I heard Natasha. "She doesn't need to stay with her killer." She said stepping in front of me.

"Of course. I will prepare a room for you two."

"It will be better if I will stay." I said. She looked at me with her cold green eyes.

"No. It would be better if you did stay."


	6. Hello It is Me.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It is not easy. It never was. But Steve won't give up that easy.

"Hey pretty..." Nat said. She was watching me with soft eyes.

"Nat..."

"You are okay. You will be okay." She said. Playing with my hair her arm was around my middle.

"I don't want to be okay. If I wanted I would not jump."

"Shhh. (Y/n) don't say that."

"But it is true." I said. I was numb. Both physically and mentally. Nat was watching me. And I could tell she was upset.

"Where is Steve?" I asked. I expected him to be here after everything we went through. But obviously I wasn't worth it. Not anymore.

"He won't come."

"So he doesn't even care?"

"He does."

"Then where the fuck is he?"

"I didn't let him stay."

"Why?"

"Because he is the reason why you are here like this. He and his ego. And I can't let him hurt you not anymore. This is enough (y/n). He does not deserve you. He is just..."

"He is not." I said weakly.

"Then why are you here?"

"Because look at the failure named me here. I am everything wrong. I am weak. I am stupid. I..."

"That is what he made you believe?"

"What! Steve would never."

"It explains everything."

"He saved me. More than once."

"But still..."

"Just because you can't accept that something is wrong with me it doesn't mean Steve did something."

***

"Nat called." Said Clint. My heart ached. 

"She woke up she is okay. But I think they had an argument. Nat sounded angry."

"Is she allright?"

"Yeah. I think."

"I need to tell her."

"What?"

"How much she means to me."

"Cap I don't think this is the right time."

"It is. Okay! It is. I don't know how much she will stay alive . I don't know if she will stay alive. And I can't lose her. I freaking need her."

"Nat won't let you see her."

"I don't care. I need to see her. And I will see her. She is every damn thing I have. I love."

"You need to relax."

"I can't if I won't see her soon enough."

***

"Go away Romanoff. I don't want to see your pretty face right now." 

"It is me..." I heard Steve.

"Steve." I whispered.

"Hey (y/n)..." He sounded... Broken? His voice was weaker than I ever heard and he looked tired as he.

"May I come in?" He asked. I knew he was sad. I could see it.

"Sure..."

He slowly walked to me. 

"Hey darling." He said sitting next to me and held my hand.

"Don't ever leave me like this promise?"

"Steve. I... Did Natasha talked to you?"

"What? About what?"

"I am not coming back to tower."

"What does it mean?"

"It means we can't go back together. I won't."

"Why not?"

"I... Steve I am trouble and I can't destroy your life not anymore."

"You are my life."

"No I am not."

"Where... Where will you go?"

"I can't tell you."

"Why not?"

"This is our last time seeing each other. All the crew. I won't be with you guys."

"Why the fuck not?"

"I can't stay."

"I fucking love you."

"No you don't."

"Yes I do. You can't tell me what I feel."

"But you don't feel it. Stop it."

"I love you (y/n). You are my family."

"Then tell me Captain. Where the fuck were you when I was dying inside? When I tried to kill myself?"

"I was trying to think a way to tell you that I am in love with you while you would not run away."

I was shocked. I had no words. I was in love with him since forever and he loved me back and... My vision blurred. And I lost the connection with reality. 

"(Y/n)! (Y/n). Damn it. Nurse. Nurse!"

I felt pair of strong arms hold me from falling. And... Nothing more.


	7. Everything I Do.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Drama. Drama. Drama.

"What did you do to her?"

"Nothing!"

"Stop lying Rogers. She was OK before you fucking came here. And now she fainted and her damn blood pressure is not stable. What did you do?"

"I think it is me who should ask Natasha. I left her with you and she is planning to leave me. Us. Damn it. What crazy shit did you told her?"

"Wow. Cap. Nat. Both of you language! I don't even want to know what you two are fighting about right now but shouldn't at least one of you be with (y/n) right now?"

We looked at Tony who just arrived to hospital.

"Nat did something and (y/n) is going to leave us." I said at the same time while Natasha said:

"Captain did something and now (y/n) has fainted."

"Okay, okay. I understood nothing and I am tired of both of you. I don't know what you did but you better have good reasons for why she fainted and why she is leaving."

"I told her something that I probably shouldn't have. She was not ready." I said. 

"You got angry with her didn't you? You made her feel like nothing again. Like you always do. Fuck you Captain."

"No Romanoff I told her I was in love with her and I was avoiding her because I was so scared I would lose her. Because she is every damn thing I have and want. So, no I did not blamed her for anything." I snapped at her. And... Well... Both of them were shocked. And both of them were watching me with their wide eyes.

"So... You finally told her and she fainted. Damn." Said Tony. "Well old man told us his reasons now Natalia why the hell is our little rebel sweetheart wants to leave?"

"Because she feels like nothing and that Steve doesn't want her anymore. So I told her I could find somewhere nobody would find her and she would be safe."

"It was your idea? God Natasha! What are you doing sending her away? Getting rid of her? Are you high or something? (Y/n) is going nowhere without me and I am not leaving her. She is my doll. Accept it or not."

"Well Nat. I think Steve is a bit right you know?" Said Tony weakly.

"Well Tony you know. I think Steve is one selfish shit and I really don't care what he thinks you know?"

"Get out." I said.

"Get out? Excuse me? Because of you (y/n) nearly killed herself. Because of you she was in so much pain and the thing you want me to leave. Hell no I will never leave you two alone again. Because you know why? I care about here. I love her and I don't use her friendship to feel myself better. I am with her when things are good and bad. Then here are you. Leaving her alone with her nightmares when she needed you the most. Millions hell billions can think you are sweet caring gentlemen but you know what Steve? You and I both know you are one egomaniac bastard and you never cared for (y/n)."

"Yeah? This is what you think? Well Natasha, have you ever fell in love with the someone who you called your best friend for years? With someone who you shared your love and got so close that you knew no one ever could replace them? I did. And when I realised thag I was scared as hell. Because every damn time I looked at her it was like someone was stabbing me. It hurt that much. Because I knew if I would tell her I love her and she did not I would lose her. Or if I did not tell her and some random guy would have take her from me. Kiss her touch her in ways that I can only dream of... I would lose her again. So all the ways I thought would end with me losing her. And I needed to find a way to make her stay. As mine. And it was god damn impossible."

"Nice play Captain but you know what? That girl was in love with you since the day one and deep down you knew it. You liked it so much that you played with her. And now you are talking about that she could never be yours shit is so fucking unreal."

"She could never love me Natasha. Believe or not! She could never love me more than a friend because she was perfect. And I don't deserve perfect. If I would have her I would have the life I always dreamed of but she? What will she take? Nothing. I can offer her nothing."

"Maybe your heart could be enough for her to give you hers. But you broke it so bad I don't think there is a heart left for you to take." 

***

I slowly opened my eyes. And realized I still was at hospital. I turned my head and saw Tony. I wasn't expecting that. No Nat. No Steve. But Stark.

"Good morning sun shine." He said.

"Well, good morning."

"Wasn't expecting to see me?"

"Nope."

"You know Nat and Cap. They fight like a cat and dog. So I send them back to tower. You deserve some peace."

"With you?"

"Hey. They are totally worse."

"You know what? You might be right. Damn, I never thought that you would be right. Apocalypse is coming I think."

"Funny (y/n). Fucking funny."

"Hey. I am hilarious." I said giving him a smile.

"So... Do you like hospital?"

"Yeah sure. I love it I think I will move in."

He just glared at me and rolled his eyes.

"You know why Nat and Cap fighted?"

"Nope."

"For you. And Cap said he loved you more than 10 times."

"They were fighting and you sat there, counted who said what how many times?"

"He loves you."

"Tony..."

"He is in looooooooove."

"Stop it."

"He wants to kiss you. You know his lips on yours."

"Shut up."

"And you want to know a secret? I think you love him too."

"He is a good friend."

"No you love him as you know boyfriend material."

"He is a good guy."

"Yeah and he you know the good guy is in love with you."


	8. Come Back.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Reader is free to go out of the hospital. And she wants to go somewhere where no one can find her. But Steve has different plans...

"You are fully healed. You can check out anytime you wish." Said Bruce.

"Yeah."

"And you know we prepared your room for your return."

"I am not returning Bruce."

"You are not ready? Okay. I think yoi can stay at hospital as long as you wish."

"Problem is not that I am not ready to get out. It is... I am not returning back to tower."

"Oh... But where are you going then?"

"I can't tell."

"(Y/n). What are you doing? Why are you not returning to tower?"

"Because... I don't want to. I just don't feel like it."

"It is not a reason. (Y/n) darling please tell me what is wrong?"

"Me and Steve... We won't be like we used to be. We can't and it will be weird. I don't want it to be weird or any of us get hurt. It is just I need some time on my own."

"It doesn't sound like it is for some time. Are you even planning to return?"

"No."

"Why not (y/n)? Of course it is your life and you are old enought to make your own decisions but you know this Avengers thing is like a family and you are my family all of ours. And if yoi will leave us this family will be broken. With a missing piece. Just... You should stay..."

"I can't. I swear I can't and I wish I could but it is not possible."

"It is not possible just because you think it is not."

"You might be right." I said. I really didn't want to fight right now. I had no power or wish. It is just... I knew I had to go. I knew this was my home no more and they needed to understand this too.

"(Y/n) whatever you choose to do make sure it is the right thing OK?"

"Of course."

"So see you tomorrow?"

"Yes Bruce see you."

***

"When will she get out of that hospital?"

"She is free to go Cap. She is okay but she doesn't want to leave. Banner talked with her this morning and she said she had no will to return here."

"And?"

"And... There is no and."

"Stark!"

"What? It is not my fault that she is not talking. And that she doesn't want to be back. She is a grown up like it or not and she can decide for herself."

"Where is she planning to go?"

"We don't know. She said she wanted to leave but never ever mentioned where."

"She can't leave anywhere. She is staying here with me."

"Look it has been 2 weeks since you had seen her last time and I don't really think you are the person who can make her stay."

"Oh. Right! And why didn't I visit her more? Why I wasn't next to her? Because someone named Romanoff banned me from that hospital you know. And now you are telling me I didn't visit her. I was dying to visit her. I wished every damn day I could visit her and..."

"Okay. I get it. You were not the only one who had fault but this is serious and I really don't know what to do."

"If I won't see (y/n) ever again I will kill someone."

"Chill okay. We will think of something."

"Than think."

*** 

"Are you sure of it?"

"Yeah I am."

"Why?"

"Because I am freaking in love with him and I can't act anymore."

"(Y/n) he said and he will keep saying he is in love with you too. So why are you making such a big deal of it? You love him he loves you. Than kiss damn it. Go kiss him then be happy with him."

"I don't believe that he loves me."

"You don't?"

"No. I really don't."

"What does it mean?"

"Being friends and lovers is different. You can be friends with people who are much much better than you but you can't date them. It won't work. Steve... He is perfect and I know he is the best thing that can ever happen to me but we are good as friends. He can't date someone like me."

"What do you mean someone like you?"

"You know me... I am not perfect I am not even pretty. And we won't work out we can't."

"Damn (y/n) you are beautiful and you should know it. Steve thinks you are the most perfect thing that ever happened to him and he loves you. He doesn't want to live without you."

"Clint. That is enough. I want to leave that's it."

"They will kill me when they will figure where I am taking you out."

"Airport." I murmured.

***

"(Y/n) is not at hospital." Said Tony.

"What do you mean? She must be there." Answered Bruce.

"I mean I have no idea where she is."

"She is leaving. Damn it." I said.

"How? She couldn't leave alone. We told hospital that."

"Where is Clint?" Asked Natasha.


	9. I Can't Take Back What I Said.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I know you want a kiss. I know you want a good fuck. But a little bit waiting will make everything better.

"Agent Barton." Said the guy in a uniform coming towards us.

"Shit..." I heard Clint whisper.

"Act like we have no fucking idea who the Barton is?"

"Yeah why not? Lets go like no shit is happening."

"Fuck. Clint. There is an army waiting for us."

"You know what (y/n)? I knew it was a bad idea. I knew my ass would be kicked in the end. The only thing I have no fucking clue is why the fuck did I ever listened to you."

"Because you love me?"

"No it wasn't that? Maybe I wanted some adrenaline. It should be the adrenaline."

"Oh thank you birdy. I feel so valuable right now."

"Then don't think that! Think about the security and... Oh. Look it is Cap and Nat. Nat is looking at me. Shit. I think it is my last day alive. It was good to know you (y/n). You are a very nice friend except all these times you were the reason I got my ass handled to me. You know... Like this one. And if Widow will hurt me more than my imagination I am gonna haunt you. Got it?"

"Do you think if I will start running I can run away?"

"From a super soldier, Black Widow and all these agents. Maybe... You know like one in a billion maybe."

It was then I saw him. His soft blue eyes were watching me with anger and hurt maybe. And he was getting closer. My first instinct was running but... Lets make it clear if I would try to run in this I would get caught %100. Also it would look idiotic and it wasn't possible. 

"What do you think you are going (y/n)?" Steve asked. His voice low but loud enough for us to hear.

"You are fucking dead Barton. I am gonna cut your head off." Natasha hissed.

"I told you I am leaving." I answered.

"You are leaving? Oh... Are you crazy? And where were you leaving? Ah... I remember it was classified. You know what (y/n) I am so tired of your immature actions. You belong with me. You are staying with me. No leavings. No secret new houses. No anything that includes you being away from me."

"If you wanted me close so bad Captain where were you while I was in hospital?"

"Natasha didn't let me be next to you. She banned me from getting to you. She put there dozens of agents. I couldn't even get in the same hospital with you. Believe it or not but I died everyday knowing you are there alone."

"I am leaving." 

"Yeah we all are. Leaving the airport. Getting to the tower." Said Nat.

"I am not." I said and turned on my heals but a hand stopped me. Strong, warm, gentle and a big hand. I knew that belonged to Steve. I knew his warmth. I knew his touches. 

"Let me go Rogers."

"Or you are coming with us to tower or I am making you." He said.

"Let. Me. Fucking. Go."

"Second it is." He said. And before I could realise how close he was he threw me over his shoulder. Locking a strong arm around my waist. I was punching his strong leand back and kicking his leck. But he just kept walking to the door. Clint and Tasha close behind us. Clint looked scared. Hell... Clint looked terrified.

Steve put me in the car and set next to me. Doors were locked from inside. So I had no escape. Nat and Clint sat in front of us. Nat was driving. I refused to talk. I was watching outside with an iron look on my face.

"Talk or do not talk. You are staying. I am not letting you leave because of your imagination." Steve said. I wanted to punch him. But I just stayed silent for some more.

Then I felt a gentle hand on my cheek. He softly made me look in his eyes.

"Believe or not you mean a world to me. And if I will ever let you go I will be damned. I love you (y/n). I love you very much. Perhaps my love is not enough maybe I am not enough... But I can do everything for your smile. I can kill for you doll. I don't care what you did or what happened to you. You were my best girl you will always be my best girl."

"I am worthless." I whispered.

"I wish you could see yourself from where I am standing. Only way for you to be worthless is that there will be nothing worthing enough to be equal with you. I think you are more important more valuable than universe. I can leave without it but not without you." He said. He was holding my hand. Caresing it with his fingers. He kissed my hand slowly and whispered.

"Even sun wasn't shining the same without you doll. Even the sun..."

***

(Y/n) fell asleep on my chest. I was just playing with her soft nice smelling hair. I loved her scent. I missed it. The airport she choosed for her grand leaving was 3 hours away from the tower and the plane we took couldn't come back to give us a ride back home so we were at this car.

"She asleep?" Nat asked.

"Like an angel." I answered.

"You gotta fix this Cap. We can't lose her."

"I know."

"And you Hawkeye... You are dead." Said Nat. Even I was a bit scared. And the look on Clint's face was priceless.


	10. Everybody Sees And Everyone Agrees.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's been that way too long.

I was carrying (y/n) to her room. She was small and innocent like an angel. And I knew we had a long way to go before our relationship would be normal but... But she hated me and herself right now. Did it really matter? Could it stop me? No. It could not. Never. But... But I was worried and I wanted (y/n) to be okay and she wasn't okay. She was everything but okay. And I loved her. More than anything or anyone. I watched her face. I missed that face. I couldn't get enough of that face. I wanted to kiss that face. But I am not sure if I was even let to look at her. She didn't want me around her. She didn't wanted me at all. But she was the only one I could rely on. Only one I could love without caring to get hurt.

"Where am I?" She mumbled. She still was half asleep.

"Safe. You are at tower. With us. I am not letting you go."

"I want to sleep."

"Then sleep doll. I will be there when you will wake up. I will be with you, always."

She didn't answer me. But she fell in a deep sleep.

I put her under the blanket and made sure she was allright then started to read The Nutuk. It was good to listen to her breathing while reading a book that I aimed to read back in the 1940s but never could find the book itself or money to buy it. Reading a book of my era and listening to breathings of the girl who I loved. It was hard to tell but it made me feel normal. Like a regular guy who could have a family, happiness and love. It was beautiful, calming. It was the dream I had since when I was a tiny boy. My book, my girl and my happiness...

I didn't know how long she was sleeping but I felt tired from reading and from all the evens which happened lately.

So I layed next to (y/n) put my arm around her small waist and she rolled to my side in her sleep. It made me feel like we still were best friends and I fell asleep with a smile on my lips.

***

I felt warm and something hard and warm was under my hand. I pushed it a bit it was nice to touch. Then I felt a beat. It was slow and calm. It made me feel calm. A scent was around me. Strong but not disturbing, nice and attractive and awfully familiar. I was too sleepy to recognize right now but I knew that smell. I knew whom it belonged to it was just not something I wanted to do: Remember.

I slowly opened my eyes and saw a handsome no a perfect face of the blond super soldier. 

"What the fuck am I doing here!" I screamed. He jumped and woke up from his sleep.

"(Y/n)! God! Why are you screaming?"

"Because what the fuck am I doing here? No! What the fuck are you doing here?"

"You fell asleep at the road and I fell asleep after we came."

"And why did you fell asleep in my room may I ask?"

"Because I promised you I would be here when you woke up."

"You could stay awake."

"Excuse me for my humanly needs. You know I didn't really sleep since you jumped of that bridge. I couldn't. You were away last thing I saw about you was your suicide and fuck it! You could die (y/n). You could die! What were you thinking?"

"That you didn't need me or didn't even care about me. So I decided to die."

"I was in love with you. I am still in love with you. How can you be so blind?"

"Well excuse me but you left me Steve. You left me alone! All I needed was you and I was alone! You were running away. You were ignoring me and I... I had no idea what to do without you."

"Because I was scared that you wouldn't even look at me after you would learn that I love you more than my own life. I am in love with you. And I can kill for you."

"I don't believe you..." I whispered I was looking at my feet. I was trying so hard not to cry. He grabbed my neck and pulled me to himself. After a second his lips crashed into mine. His second hand made its way to my waist and pressed me to his body. All I could do was holding onto him. 

His kiss was powerfull and gentle, soft and posessive, full of love and lust. His taste was better than anything I could even imagine.

"You don't believe to this either doll?"


	11. Lay Me By Your Side.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We have a new pair. I love first steps of a relationship. It is just magical.

"You look pretty." I said. I was watching (y/n) getting ready for 20 minutes now. It'd been nearly a week since I first kissed her and I didn't really stayed away from her. We were a new couple and we were kissing each other every time we could. We slept in the same bed but nothing more. She wasn't ready. We never talked about this but I knew (y/n) more than anyone knew her or maybe she knew herself. And she never fully recovered from the rape accident. She was okay with hugging and cuddles but not sex. She was not. And I was okay with waiting. She was next to me and this was enough.

"What do you think about my hair?" She asked me.

"It is soft, smells nice and I think it is pretty?"

"No dummy." She said with a kind smile on her pink lips "I was asking how should I style it for tonight?"

"I don't know (y/n). I think you are beautiful. You know... I saw your face all purple and covered in blood but I thought you were beautiful. So I really don't care what you will do with it. You will be my best girl anyway." I said. She just layed next to me and put her head on my chest. I held her body closer to mine.

"I love you (y/n)." I whispered.

"I love you too Steve." She said. Her lips on mine. My hand made its way to her head and I slowly pulled her closer.

"Damn I love you." I said "And it is so good to have you next to me."

"I will stay next to you."

"I will make you."

***

"So tonight is the night when Cap and (y/n) are showing their relationship to the rest of the world?" Natasha asked.

"Yes. I made sure papers and bloggers were here with their cameras."

"Tony... Is this a good idea? They started dating 5 or 6 days ago. Maybe we should wait?"

"No... Why? Look Nat. They were in love for years. Years damn it. Can you imagine all the times they were so close but not close enough? Think about all the times when we were watching movies (y/n) always sat on Cap's lap and he was in love with her holding her but not being able to touch her like he wanted? Or all the times they woke up together but never could give each other their good morning kisses. This is their night of victory. They are new favourite Hollywood couple."

"They have nothing with Hollywood."

"This is not the point damn it! Look. They are famous right? And they have fans? So what if they are not acting they are celebs and that is it!"

"Okay drama queen Stark. You will have your show. I am giving up."

"Of course I will have my show. I am living for my show."

***

"Well Captain you sure look handsome." I said. Watching my boyfriend fix his blond hair. He was looking like a Disney prince. My own personal Disney prince. I got closer to him and placed my hand on his cheek pulling his face to mine.

"Well I have a dame which looks like a goddess. I have to look handsome." He answered placing his lips on mine.

"We have to go." I murmured.

"I know."

"I want to stay with you. And kiss you until you will look not so flawless."

"I will happily obey to this plan doll."

"I know."

"But..."

"But we have to go."

"Yeah... Party."

At the party Tony was drinking, Nat was fixing all the drinks, Bruce was talking with half drunk Tony, Thor and Clint were telling people about one of our battles. And me and Steve. We were dancing. His hands on my hips. Mine on his wide shoulders. And I was resting my head on his chest. It was a slow romantic song and his heart beat was making it more special.

"I like holding you close." He said.

"And I like you holding me close."

"Did you notice all the cameras flashing?"

"Yeah. I think this is the reason of the party. Us. Dating."

"Why?"

"Well Captain. You and I are Avengers. And all people know us. They want to know a lot about us because they are fans and they love to gossip so..."

"They will gossip about us."

"Yepp."

"Why?"

"I don't know but it is fun to gossip about celebs. I love gossip about celebs."

"We are not celebrities."

"For them we are."

"And what should we do?" He asked. I could see that naughty idea in his baby blue eyes. And thay smirk on his perfect lips. 

"I like your thinking Rogers." I said and pulled him for a kiss.

 

 


	12. Usual Day, Usual Things.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Reader and Steve have a shopping date.

"Doll, are you ready?" I asked. (Y/n) was getting dressed.

"I am. I am." She said running to me. She was wearing black jeans and a red t-shirt. She looked adorable and I could not deny she was hot. Even thought of her body made me blush. 

"You are beautiful." I said kissing her head.

"Well, well Captain thank you." She said putting her arms around my waist.

"Ready to go?" I asked caresing her back.

"Totally." 

"Bike or car?"

"I am going to shop sugar. And a lot. So car."

"Lets go." I said and opened her door. After a 20 minute car ride we were there. 

"Which shops do you want to go?" I asked she was looking around with curious eyes. I knew she loved shopping. It was our first time shopping as a couple but we were best friends for a long time and she dragged me after her to carry her bags hundred times. 

"I am not sure... Maybe the usual. Maybe something more private?" She winked. Damn. I was blushing hard.

"Oh come on! You saw me naked so many times! Now you are blushing?"

"You were injured. And... And the things you are talking about are... Are so... You know!"

"I know sugar. Relax. I won't be too hard on you." She said and kissed my cheek standing on her tip toes. 

"You know that I love you." I said.

"I love you too." She said hugging me. 

***

"What do you think?" I asked. Turning around myself. I was wearing a wine red dress. Knee lenght with long sleeves and  open back.

"I think you are beautiful."

"You always say that. Say something new." I said sitting on his knees. His hands found my waist. 

"Because you are beautiful." He said kissing my opened back.

"Damn you and your nice talking. What do you think about the dress?"

"It is cute but I don't think this is your style. You are cooler I think?"

"You think I am cool?"

"Yes. Doll you are cool."

"Thank you. And you are cute." I said giving him a big lovefull kiss. I could feel his blush. So I kissed him deeper. His hands were holding me thigher. 

"There are people." He said. But he was looking at my lips. And I knew he gave no fucks about people right now.

"Well we could always use the dressing room." I said.

"That would be..."

"Cool? Good? Fantastic?"

"Not very okay?"

"Come on. We are avengers and it is not like we will fuck in there. We will just kiss."

"Doll..." he said but I was kissing his neck and my hands were on his chest.

"Come on Cap. Live a little."

"(Y/n)" he half moaned. And I knew that if I would go to that dressing room right now he would follow me. So I stood up and went to the dressing room. I might or might not had swayed my hips more than regular but... I wanted to kiss him in there and I would totally get it.

As expected he was in there with me and he was pressing me against the wall while kissing me hard. All I could do was holding onto his neck. His hands were on my cheeks at first but they were travelling lower by every minute. He pulled me to himself and squezed my waist but as his hands grabbed my ass I felt the mental pain. It was just like that mission. Before the guy tried to rape me. I felt my world turn around my head. He felt it. I knew he felt something wrong. He stopped in a second and his big careful hands were around my face making me look at him.

"Doll... Are you okay? Did I do something wrong?"

"No." I tried to smile. "I just remembered where we were. Just it." I knew he did not buy it. I knew because his sky blue eyes were full of worry and fear.

"I am okay." I said giving him a soft kiss. He answered as soft as I kissed him. He also gave me a big hug. And it made me feel safe. 

"I love you." He said. Kissing my cheek.

"I love you more." I said to his firm chest.

***

"You look scared?" I said. Steve was coming towards me and he looked lost.

"I need your help Natasha."

"About?"

"(Y/n)."

"What did you do this time?"

"I am not sure to be honest."

"Okay tell."

"You know this morning we went shopping and we were kissing in a dressing room and suddenly she looked broken."

"Did you touched or kissed her too hard?"

"I don't think so. It was usual. Except..."

"Except?" I asked. He was blushing. Oh god. If they fucked in there I had to learn wich store it was and take the security videos.

"It was too good and I... I touched her butt." He said whispering the last sentence.

"Thank god. I was thinking you too had sex in there."

"No! We would never. We never did."

"So back to our talk. She looked broken after you touched her ass?"

"Butt. Yes."

"Was it too rough?"

"I don't think so. She didn't flinch or said anything she looked like she wasn't there in that dressing room for a moment."

"Did you asked her what was wrong?"

"I did and she answered that she remembered where we were but... I know (y/n). Us kissing in there would never be a problem. It was something different. And it bothers her. So it bothers me."

"I can talk to her."

"She is not talking. Whenever I tried to ask her she shut me up with kisses."

"Relax. She won't shut me up with kisses." I smirked.

"My point is she doesn't want to talk about it. And when (y/n) doesn't want to talk about something she won't talk."

"We will see Rogers. We will see..."


	13. Not Broken Enough But Hurt Too Much.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Natasha and Reader have a little talk. And Steve is worried because you know Steve and you know he is a sweetheart.

"Hello there." I heard Natasha say.

"Hey..." I answered.

"You look upset. Did something happen?"

"No. Why would you think that?" I said. She just watched me with her poker face and green eyes. She was looking at me like a cat would look at her owner before making them do whatever it would like. She came here with questions and she wanted answers. I knew Natasha good enough to see that.

"Because you are upset."

"You think I am upset. But this does not mean I am upset."

"Sugar I can see your sadness."

"No you can't."

"Are you angry with something and it makes you sad?"

"Nat. Really. I have no idea why you came here and what you want but... I am tired. And I need some rest."

"Liar." 

"What?"

"Liar." She said. And I knew she would not explain.

"Nat can we have this shit later? I am really tired."

"No we can't."

"Well. Sorry but I don't want to talk with you right now. And I mean I am not talking with you right now."

I wanted her to leave. I knew Steve would come to talk or something later. So I needed time to be alone and Natasha was on my way.

"Well. Sorry but you will talk with me right now. And I mean you are talking with me right now. So tell me did Rogers hurt you?"

"Steve? No. Why would he?"

"I don't know. Do you two have problems?"

"We don't. We just had a date. It was nice."

"Until he kissed you hard in the dressing room?"

"How did you kn...? Oh. Of course. Steve wanted you to talk with me."

"He is worried."

"Isn't he always?"

"No he is not. Not when you are okay. Not when you talk with him. Not when you are happy. But the moment something is wrong with you. Just a little bit is enough for him and he goes crazy. So tell me (y/n), what the fuck is wrong with you?"

"You have no idea. Okay? None of you. So stop acting like I am a spoiled brat. I have my reasons to not be okay and none of you have a right to say a word." I said. They didn't know what I was going through. They didn't know how much in pain I was. And they had no right to judge me.

"So tell us damn it. You are telling nothing but also you want us to know what us going on!"

"If you don't know what is going on then you have to be blind." I said. I couldn't believe this. They knew I was nearly raped. They knew how I never was fixed about that. And they knew I was go damn broken.

"I don't know (y/n). And Steve does not know. Tony doesn't, Clint doesn't, Bruce doesn't... None of us have any idea what is going on in that pretty head of yours because you haven't spoken with us for months. You said nothing more than 'Good morning' 'How are you' 'Do we have any ice cream'... You act like we are no more a family we are no more friends. And I don't even know what are you thinking about!"

"I am thinking about the bastard who nearly fucked me in that table and I could do nothing. I am thinking about what the fuck would happen if Steve didn't came there fast enough. I am thinking about how good it would be if I was dead. And god damn it I am thinking about how scared I am when Steve touches me and think it is that guy. You have no idea what is happening. You have no idea how much I want to be with Steve and I can't be with him because I will never be okay again. I will always stay this scared this broken. And don't you dare me you had no idea because you all knew what happened. You all god damn knew what I went through that night. But non of you ever gave a fuck." I said. I was breathing fast and I could feel the air in my lungs wasn't enough. Not right now. A panic attack was coming.

I held my chest and tried to slow down my breathing. But I had too many emotions and it was impossible to fix it right now. My head was spinning. I knew I was going to black out so I tried to sit down. But before I could find a place to sit I fell down and my world went all black.

***

"What were you doing when this happened?"

"Talking."

"Natasha she did not stopped breathing because of a talk." Said Bruce.

"It was a hard talk."

"What happened in there?"

"We talked about her being distant last few months and I think she has a major depression also she is the best actress we can ever meet."

"What does that mean?"

"She is dying inside but until I made her talk today. I never realized. She looked okay. She was okay but now I know she is nothing but okay."

"What we do?"

"We need to fix her. Before she will try to kill herself again."

"We couldn't stop her at first try."

"But we were lucky enough. And she stayed alive."

"You afraid she will die?"

"After all this things I learned about her feeling I am afraid she might die this time."

I said and made my way out of the lab.

"Where are you going?" Bruce asked after me.

"Steve. He needs to know. He is the only one who can fix her."


	14. Like It Or Not.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Natasha talks with Steve and learning what is wrong makes Steve worried. He loves (y/n) and he is scared that she won't be okay.

"Did you talk with her?"

"Yeah I did."

"So... What is wrong? Was I too forward? What happened?"

"You remember the mission that she nearly was raped?" She asked. And I felt anger and fear in my whole body.

"Of course I do Nat. I see it every night in my nightmares. I never was that scared. Or that angry ever."

"She still has the effects of that night. She wants to be close with you but whenever she gets close it reminds her of that night."

"So when I touched her..."

"She felt like it was him. Well she knew it was you but her brain told her it was him."

"Oh my god. How could I do this. Damn it I knew she was shaken but I never thought that much."

"I think you two have to talk and work on it."

"Nat I can't touch her any way if it will hurt her."

"Touching is not the problem Rogers. She wants you to touch her but she also wants to feel safe. Maybe.... Maybe ypu two will work on it. I mean start with getting cozier and then make her get used to your touchs day by day."

"Like training?"

"Exactly. Training."

"We can do that I guess."

"Of course. But first I have to tell you a little something." She said. She was uncomfortable. Something happened. I could see that. Natasha Romanoff, Black Widow was never uncomfortable unless something bad happened.

"Natasha what happened?"

"While we were talking with (y/n)... She got a little angry and had a panic attack and stopped breathing. She is okay. She is in lab. Guys are looking after her. She is probably asleep."

"And you are telling this to me only now." I said running to lab. 

(Y/n) was sleeping but I could see she was stressed. I slowly sat next to her and help her little hand. I slowly kissed it.

"(Y/n), hey... It is me Steve. You are okay. You are safe. You will get better. I promise. I will do anything to get you better."

"She just got a bit excited. She will wake up soon." Said Bruce.

"Of course she will. She is the strongest girl I had ever met. Can I take her to her room? Or do you need to check her?"

"She is totally fine. I just gave her some meds to calm her down and it made her sleepy. Nothing more is needed to be done so take her to her room. Give her some green tea or another herbal tea to calm her nerves down."

"Sure Doc. I will get her better." I said carrying her bridal style.

***

I slowly opened my eyes. It wasn't dark but it wasn't very bright either. It was my room. I didn't remember falling asleep in my room. Then I felt another person next to me. I felt their smell and heat. Too familiar smell and heat. I didn't even needed to look at them to know it was Steve. He was asleep too. His big warm hand resting on my waist. His chest on my back and our legs together.

"Good morning..." he murmured. He still was half asleep. But he kissed my hair. How the fuck could he feel me waking up? How could he feel it and then wake up? 

"Is it really morning?" I asked.

"Nope. It's afternoon." He said and pulled me closer his arms around me.

"What happrned to me?" I asked. His chin was resting on my shoulder. I could smell his aftershave lotion and his breath was on my cheek.

"You had a panic attack."

"Oh..."

"You were talking with Natasha."

"Oh..." Well now I could remember what the fuck happened.

"We need to talk." He said. He was serious but I couldn't ignore the caring and worried tone in his voice.

"Steve I am..."

"I know sometimes me touching you reminds you of that night. Nat told me. But you are not broken sweetheart. Just because some idiot hurt you, I won't let him alson control your life you know. And we will get you better. You and me."

"How?"

'Well the problem starts when I get too close. So I need to know when you get uncomfortable with my closeness. Like now. Are you okay?"

"Yeah. I am used to you spooning me. We did it before the mission too."

"So the things we did before that night don't bother you?"

"Nope."

"Us, kissing?"

"No it doesn't."

"But me touching your butt did. And I don't think it was the first time."

"It wasn't..."

"What else made you uncomfortable?"

"One time we were sleeping and... Your hand was on my boob. Actually it wasn't the first time you sometimes grabbed my boob in your sleep before but that day I was scared for a moment."

"..."

"You blushed didn't you?" I asked. 

"I am sorry... I never meant to... You know... Touch your bo... Chest! I mean chest."

"No problem darling. My chest is your chest." I said laughing.

"So... Back to the problem. I won't touch you if you are not uncomfortable with it but..."

"I want you to touch me Steve. My brain doesn't."

"Nat said. If we would slowly make your body get used to mine we could fix it. If you want it."

"I do."

"So... We will try?"

"Yeah... I think we will."

"I love you (y/n). With or without touching."

"I love you too Steve."


	15. Your Love Is My Drug.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Getting better with Steve Rogers.

"So..." I said. I was watching (y/n) for an hour now.

"What?" She said. 

"What do you think about UK?"

"Don't you think we are too busy for that?"

"Team can handle themselfs."

"It is not the team I am worried about. What if world will need us?"

"Team can handle."

"What will we do there Steve?"

"You are too stressed (y/n). Lets go. Travel. We both need this."

"I am not sure." She said. I got up and put my arms around her waist. 

"Come on beautiful we will have fun."

"I know..."

"Then what is the problem?"

"I just don't want to steal you from your life anymore Steve. You know... All you do is hang out with me all day long. And it is tiring. I kmow... And..."

"Shut up." I said kissing her neck. "You are talking bullshit."

"Language." She said but I knew she was upset.

"I love you (y/n). Always had always will and everything I do for you. I do for me. Because I need you for myself. You make me happy. You make me feel like I really do belong somewhere. To you. And yeah you are having bad times but I am happy to be with you. And I never thought of you as anything that was stopping me so stop acting thay way. I love you. I love being with you."

"I love you too." She said. I just hugged her.

"So we will go?"

"Yes. We will."

***

"God I hate being tired." I said.

"I don't know what are you talking about darling you are not even walking."

"You like to carry me."

"I do. I like it when you are this close to me."

"I like being close to you too Steve. You know you make me feel safe loved etc.."

"You are sleely aren't you?"

"How did you know?" I asked yawning

"You have no idea what you are talking about."

"I do. I think."

"Sleep doll."

"I love you Steve."

"Love you too (y/n)."

***

"We just arrived to our room." I said.

"Where is your doll?"

"She is asleep Tony. But it is just a cat nap. She will wake up soon."

"Do you think she will be better here?"

"Yes. I hope. I will do everything to make sure she is okay. She will be okay."

"Sure she will be Cap. You are with her."

"I will always be. Are you guys going to be okay?"

"How long?"

"Month or more. I am not sure. I will make sure she is okay."

"Just don't make it too long. We need both of you here."

"Like I said Tony. As long as it needs."

"See you then?"

"See you all then."


	16. A Girl To Remember.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I love you London.

"Good morning doll face." Steve whispered. I could see he was awake for at least half an hour. His baby blue eyes were shining and he had a handsome smile on his lips. I reached to him and kissed him slowly. One of his hands found my waist and he pulled me closer to his strong torso. I could feel him smile in our kiss.

"Morning Cap." I said.

"How did you slept?"

"In your arms? Perfect. My sleep was perfect."

"Would you like to try that coffee shop we saw few days ago?"

"For morning coffee? It would be good."

"I will take a shower and then we can go." He said and gave me one more soft kiss. I watched him leaving to bathroom. He had no shirt on and his pijama pants hanged around his hips. God he was beautiful. Strong and beautiful. I was used to Steve being around me half naked but lately it was too hot for me to deal. I wanted him to touch me more. I wanted to feel him more. I wanted him to make love to me. But... After that rape thing and Steve learning I still had effects I knew he wouldn't even think to touch me like that. And it made me a little bit sad. I wanted him. I wanted him very much and things were not easy. 

I slowly got up and got dressed. I found my dark green dress and my Uggs. I was cozy and ready. Steve was wearing dark blue jeans and a white shirt. God he was too hot for his own good. 

"Ready darling?" He asked holding my hand.

"Yeah." I said and we started to walk.

***

"What is on your mind beautiful?" I asked. (Y/n) was dreamy. She looked like she wasn't here and it made me scared. What if her depression was back?

"It is just... Nothing." She said. 

"You can tell me anything darling. Amd you know it. No need to bottle yourself up. I am here for you and only you. Come on. Tell me what is wrong?"

"Steve it is really not important."

"If it makes you think even if for a second it is important to me. Come on doll. Tell me." I said kissing her wrists slowly.

"I want..."

"You want what? I can go and get it right now. Just tell." I said. But she jusy laughed. It wasn't a happy laugh. It was nervous one.

"It is not like that. It is just..."

"Come on beautiful tell."

"I want you."

"I am yours."

"No... I. Want. You."

"I don't get it."

"Steve. Sugar. You know we are dating for a quiet long time and when two people are together in some level of the realtionship they do things and..."

"Oh." I said. I could fell the burn of the blush. All over my body. She wanted us to sleep together. Oh.

"Are you ready for this kind of intimacy?"

"I don't know. But... Damn it it is killing me. I want you very much and very bad. I need you. But I don't know. I have no idea how my brain will react. But I need you Steve. Very much."

"We can do this... I mean... If this... If this is what you need."

"Yes. I need that."

"Lets go." I said and lifted her bridal style. Took her to our bedroom.

"We will be careful and we will take it slow." I said kissing her soft hair. I could feel the excitement in my whole body. My dream girl is going to be fully mine in few minutes and damn. It was a dream come true.


	17. You Belong With Me.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tonight is the night guys.

My heart was beating faster than I could ever remember. (Y/n) was beautiful. More beautiful than I could ever remember and she was going to give herself to me. Fully. Her arms were around my shoulders and her lips on mine. I could taste her sweet, dreamy taste. Her own taste. That I could never mix with any other. It was making me drunk. 

I held her waist carefully. Her curves were making me crazy. 

"I love you." I whispered. "I love you. I love you. I love you." I said kissing my way down her neck. Her smell was making my knees weak. Her warmth...

I slowly undressed her and got undressed myself. She was wearing a dark blue high waisted silk panties and matching bra. She was looking like an angel. Like the most perfect creature alive. I didn't care about her stretch marks or wound marks she was perfect. Perfect to me. 

"God... You are beautiful (y/n). Too beautiful..."

"I love you Steve." She said. I kissed her lips one more time.

"You can't even imagine how much I love you." I said. Kissing her round soft shoulders. 

Her skin was hot where it touched mine. I was burning with desire but I also realized I had to be careful. 

"Can I take your bra off?" I asked. I knew it would be hard. That bastard ripped her bra that night so... I had ti be as gentle as it was possible. 

"Yes." She said but I could hear the fear in her voice. I slowly started to kiss her shoulders and chest. My hands were making their way to her bra. She was holding her breath. No matter how much she wanted this it was hard for her. 

"I love you (y/n). And I will never hurt you." I said taking off her bra. It was gorgeous. Her chest. Her breast.

"Jesus..." I said and my lips found her nipple. I sucked it kissed her breast bit her nipple and she was moaning repeating my name under my body. I liked the feeling og her hands on my back. I liked how she was kissing my neck. How her panties were getting darker. I was making her wet. She wanted me. And it made me feel like god. 

"Are you comfortable enough for me to take your panties off?" I asked still playing with her boobs.

"Yes... Please." She whimpered. 

I was watching her small wet pussy. God I needed to be inside her as soon as possible.

I cupped her pussy and started to play with her clit. She was moaning louder and louder. I was kissing her, sucking her lower lip biting it and also rubbing her clit while finger fucking her.

"Steve... Steve..." the way she was saying my name. Oh lord give me the strenght. And then the most amazing thing happened. She had her orgasm. And I watched her. I helped her get down from it. My god it was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen.

***

Steve's sky blue eyes were looking at me waiting for my approval. The head of his dick was teasing me. 

"Please Steve. I beg you. Fuck me already." And God he did fuck me. He slowly pushed himself fully inside me and I could feel how he was tearing me in two.

"Oh... Oh..." I moaned. That was all I could. He was so good.

"Am I hurting you."

"No.. It is perfect. Move Steve. I need to cum on your dick.

His movements were fast but gentle. I held him tight as he fucked me. His breathing his moans were getting me closer to the end. And then it happened. I was shaking uncontrolably screaming his name. Screaming how much I loved him. But he kept fucking me even after I got down from my orgasm. And in the middle of my third orgasm tonight I fslt his hot cum filling me. 

 


	18. Sunshine.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Morning after the night of love.

I opened my eyes hoping last night wasn't just a dream. And I found a sleeping (y/n) who was fully naked and in all her glory in my arms. I looked at her face. She was relaxed and a small smile was playing on her beautiful soft pink lips. I smiled myself. Damn I was so lucky to have her. In my life. In my bed. In my heart. God. How could I be so lucky? After everything we went through together she still stayed with me and it was the best thing I could have. She was the best thing that could exist. I kissed her soft divine smelled hair.

"I love you pretty doll. I love everything about you." I whispered afraid to wake her up. I pulled her nude form to my body and shared my warmth with her. I heard her sighing happily and moving closer. I chuckled silently. I loved these times. When she would be like this. Innocent and perfect.

"I wish I could show you or tell you how much I love you. How much you mean to me but... But there are no words that could be enough for my love, for my feelings to make you understand how important how needed you are. God. I want to let you know but I have no idea how to. (Y/n) my darling, the meaning of my life and existance... I love you so fucking much. Damn. Sometimes when you are close but not enough I just want to pull you into my arms and never ever let you go. Never let you leave. I want you next to me. Not for some time or some years but always. Forever. But there is a thing I am not sure if anything I would say would be enough for you to understand my love. But I will try. Try until you will feel as perfect as I think you are. As beautiful as I see you. As happy as I can make you. One day I will make your life feel like a dream and I won't stop trying until you will feel like this. Because this is what you did to me. You made my life like a dream which I wouldn't even dare to dream about. You made my life perfect."

***

I woke up feeling a pair of strong arms around my body. And in a second I knew it was Steve. I could recognize his smell his warmth on my skin anytime. I felt his heart beat against my own chest.

"Good morning angel." He said kissing my temple and slowly making his way to my lips. After a road of soft kisses on my cheek and chin his lips found mine and gave me a long and loveful kiss. I couldn't stop the smile on my lips. His hand slowly caresed my naked back and pressed me to himself a little bit tighter.

"Good morning handsome." I said. He gave me a small kiss on my nose.

"How are you feeling? Both physically and mentally?"

"I am good. A bit sore but I think that is understandable." I said winking. A beautiful blush appeared on his face. I put my hand to his muscled and nude chest.

"Oh now you are shy, aren't you Mr. Captain America?"

"A bit." He murmured I just laughed.

"Come on Stevie it was a wonderful night best that I could have and you have nothing to be emberassed for. It was great. We both felt great and we will feel great again." It made him only more red and I laughed.

"I am going to have a shower. Feel free to join." I said getting up. I knew he was watching my bare ass.

"Nope. I think I will prepare a breakfast for one very beautiful girl."

"Oh? And who is this one very beautiful girl?"

"I don't think you saw here."

"You don't think?"

"No. If you saw here you wouldn't asked who she was. She is very remarkable. You wouldn't forget the minute you saw her."

"And you think this was because?"

"I never forgot the moment I saw her. I never forgot any moment I spent with her. It all is written in my heart and soul."


	19. Once Upon A Dream.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The final chapter my ladies and gentlemen.

"So old man, tell us how is it to be married?" Tony asked. I looked at him with side eye. It has been nearly 5 years since (y/n) and I got married. And these were the best years of my life. We bought a big cozy house in town. It was close to Avengers Tower and every where we needed. We were a call away from the team and everything was perfect.

"It is good Tony. You should try. And no we are not tired of each other yet. We just won't be. Accept it. We made the right decision. We are happy."

"I never thought you would be unhappy. You two are right for each other and it makes me happy. I am cool with you guys but I am very not cool with marriage. Yuck!"

"It is like living with your best friend Stark. Nothing bad."

"Living with your best friend. And fucking with your best friend."

"You are too old for trying to make fun of sex."

"So now you are so calm about talking it. Wow! (Y/n) really did change you. If you are so cool about talking it with us. Interesting what are you doing with her?"

"None of your business."

"Come on! I am one of your best friends."

"Not the one who I married Stark."

"I wouldn't marry you. I am into boobs. Not balls."

"Thank god..."

"What does it mean Mr Oh Captain My Captain? You are not finding me hot?"

"Tony..."

"Am I not pretty enough? Oh! I didn't know you were so shallow."

"Tony..."

"Oh don't Tony me now! I gave you my years, my youth and what are you doing? Thinking I am not pretty enough."

"I think you are pretty Stark. Prettiest Iron Ass I have ever seen." I heard my wife's voice from my back. I looked at her over my shouldet and couldn't stop the smile curling in my lips.

"And your hubby kept telling me I am not."

"Actually I said nothing!"

"Yeah! Do you think it makes everything better?"

(Y/n) laughed and sat on my lap.

"How are you honey?" She asked.

"Better now." I said kissing her softly and putting my arms around her waist.

"Good to hear." She said smiling.

"You know guys I am still here." Said Tony. She leaned to me and kissed my lips softly. 

"You know what? I am leaving this is gross." He said and (y/n) smiled in our kiss. I cupped her ass and she put her small cold hands at my chest.

"I love you Mrs. Rogers."

"I love you more Captain Rogers." She said giving me  one last kiss at cheek.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading. Please leave kudos and comments.


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